Stop Tellling Me the Truth ...

My mom is visting and I LOVE MY MOM.  She is truly one of my favorite people on earth and I really dig hanging out with her.  She is very smart, super funny and she is always completely honest with me ...
 .
Buuut, I just learned (and I am really slow about these things) ... that the honesty thing NO LONGER works for me.  Here's why:

While looking in the mirror (which used to be fairly enjoyable),
I say,"I should really get my eye lids lifted." 
My mom says, "Yes you REALLY should." 

I don't know what the scary look I shot her said, but in her cute mom fashion she tried to back peddle a little.

"Really, it's easy and fast and it's fun ... "
FUN?????  Holy crap, she was supposed to say something like "No dear, you don't need a ... you're way too young for a ... "

"I should really get a face lift (see, SLOW learner)."
"Well no not yet, but you could start thinking about it in a few years."
WRONG ANSWER! ... The right one sounded like this in my head ... "Don't be silly, you are decades away from needing a ... " Forget it! ...

"My stomach is huge."
"No, your STOMACH is not fat."  Yeah, OK Honest Abe, go ahead and tell me where I AM FAT ... 'cause I could hear it ...

This is what we loved about our moms, when we really wanted to hear the truth, but not anymore.  I am gonna institute a "NO TRUTH" policy with my mom ... well, if she'll let me ... she's still the boss of me, afterall ...