Friday, June 18, 2010

Please Help!!!

OMG...Paraguay leaves in 9 days!
Who the hell is ready for that?
As previously stated...not:
Adorable 13, or the
But she is ready. Not just because there is only so much of me a person can take, but she will be like the Lakers when she goes home. Fanfare, parties, maybe a parade..if they do parades in they, hmmm? Need to ask her.

So in addition to the wind down and the pre-freak out, I have been asked to write a story/report/blog...something for her school magazine. About having her here.

Really??? I don't want to. There are no creative juices here. Not now anyway...

Plus Sis Extrodinaire said that I have to pass it by Bio so that I don't include anything embarassing...Like the fact that we call her Weiner???? Oh, come on... Teeny, one duh, Weiner. (I sense that would get lost in transaltion anyway. hee hee)

What do I write??? It is one thing when I am writing about her in English...but the school, her school?? This is hard and could be dangerous.

Can I be silly? Or will they think I am nuts??
Can I be sarcastic? Or will they think I am mean??
Can I be sentimental? Or will they think I am a sap?

WAIT....Hold the phone (this expression cracks me up every time..) I am such a moron, this is not about me.....God when will I learn? Actually the world is likely to start revolving around me sooner than I will learn that it is not.

And this just in...there are calories, real calories in wine...YEP all wine. This on top of Wiener leaving....not sure I will make it through the day....

I need ideas on the Wiener story and I need diet wine...STAT

Monday, June 14, 2010

18 Years

Hub and I just celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary.
HOLY crap that is a really really long time.
My parents didn't stay married so I didn't get the in house training that some might have benefited from. So I a not experienced or always good at it, but alas I try.

We nearly forgot this one though, but we pulled it out at the last minute. We managed to get cards and I got flowers. We went to dinner. Nice...enough. Ya know for 18. When we hit 20 there will be some planning and a bigger deal. But 18...ehhhh.

I bitch and complain (hey I am a girl), but there have been some spectacular times and lessons in these nearly two decades together.

He has given me so much....mostly two amazing offspring that when they are not trying to kill me..are the truest light in my life. And although I always talk like it was a solo act, he helped. (I will never admit this again though..)

He has taught me so many things. Some real and some not. But I am such a fricken sucker, I absolutely believe everything he says.
Like the time I said..while in the bathroom getting ready "I can't remember if I put on deodorant.." and he says "wipe your armpit with your finger than touch it to your tongue."
REALLY?? I DID IT....I didn't question the weirdness or think about it, I just did it.... DON'T ever do this. It completely dries up your tongue and hurts. GOD I am so stupid sometimes.

He has also taught me that emptying a 60 gallon hot water heater tank into a 10,000 gallon freezing cold pool won't heat it..... Now wait, I really really thought it would, and he couldn't convince me otherwise. There was a true glitch in my brain and I really couldn't understand why it wouldn't work....While I am a girl (and repetitive..), I'm pretty smart and I always always listen to logic (unless it's about clothes). But the hunk Hub had to show me. Yeah he did...cutie.

He has taught me that you can take the trash out of your car EVERYtime you exit it. Hmmm?? Still working on that one.

He of course has taught me and everyone who has ever been at my house, the right way to load the dishwasher.

He has tried to teach me... and here he leads by example, that it is actually possible to put your clothes away when you take them off. I still think they are supposed to just stay on the floor where you removed them, but his way seems to work too. You should see his side of the closet...he is NOT gay..not that there is anything wrong with that...(if you are taking offense, you don't know me). Wait a minute...??? Nahh ....just kidding are a stud.

He has given me mucho and taught me oodles and is still patiently teaching me things...

But the most important thing he has ever said to me while fixing our current house that we bought as a major fixer, when the upstairs toilet broke and leaked into the downstairs closet... I sat on the closet floor completely overwhelmed and scared and I cried...." I think we bought the Money Pit, what are we gonna do???" Waa waa. It was a huge deal and a minor breakdown. He stopped everything he was doing, he looked at me and very calmly said to me,
"Don't worry...EVERYthing that breaks can be fixed."

He is the fix it man and everyone knows that he CAN fix anything. But when he said that to me, it meant more than the leak. It meant everything. Cause somewhere along the line everything breaks... a little or lot.. and I hold on to his statement that "everything can be fixed."

Thanks B. xo

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


Teens teens teens...
A day and night of teens.
Adorable 13, Hub and I would be swallowed up.
The day began as usual with the typical morning ritual:
Wake kids, start coffee...
Wake kids, start lunches..
Wake know.........blah blah blah, get them off.
The evening would hold a "Senior Sendoff" for the leaving kids of the Advanced Peer Counseling group that Bio is part of. A really cool group at her HS that is... as it is named. The kids, do wonderful things at school like "Acceptance Week", they mediate, they mentor..They ROCK. (really I think this group of kids is way cool)
So the 'sendoff' includes 45 kids, food, awards and ceremonies and dear God what have I done..AGAIN??? (did it last year).
I can not have a party, even for blind, hungry teens without the house being spotless and perfectly decorated. Since I am slightly busy with my day job..(real estate is picking up..if you can you should be diving in the pool and I can help)...I have not had endless hours to dedicate to household I, ...really who am I kidding I put them off whenever possible. So after the drop off, cleaning would be my morning workout...ARG. (would rather be sweating with Stud dude).
After 2.5 blissful hours of cleaning, moving furniture and making flower was time to go pick up Paraguay. She and I were invited to speak at a Kiwanas club meeting about the joys of the exchange program.
ICK!!! While the group was nice, the meeting was fine and the lunch was free...It was ICKY. Thinking about her leaving gives me hives..talking about it...PUKE!
After that nausea producing lunch, we ran for balloons, then home to finish getting ready for the party.
Work work work...
Then the Peer Counselor 'set up' crew arrive. Their idea of set up is to sign each others year books....
No worries, I am Martha Stewart when in party mode. I got this..
Next the chairs (30) arrive. The set up crew tried to help here. Silly kids.
The last minute details always hang me up and as I am running around Bio tells me that they need to go back to school to get her year book. Ten minutes to party 'go' and she is leaving. Martha will not make a scene with people around....."Sure Honey go ahead...oh yeah have her drive my car....sure." The level of my ass-ness amazes even me sometimes.
No worries...Martha has this.
Party go...45 kids and the presentations begin. Eww it got hot...Fans needed to be rushed to the scene. Then I need to disappear until the next segment. FOOD...
Yep 45 kids eating Panda Express least 7 on the trampoline..funny. It would have been funnier if it broke....
Then more presentations...I make myself an invisible cleaner. Clean up and set up the desserts. Shhhh though cause I am not supposed to be around.
Then after all the presentations are done....gotta move all the chairs from the living room into the family room cause that is where Bio's best friend...cutest Chloe wanted her senior send off to be.
Martha is still bam done. Turn the lights down...cause this involves lighting candles....and the relocation of the fans...being careful with the candle lighting thing... cause I am not a fireman..although???...nahhh never mind..
This goes on for a long time and this part is a very emotional and semi private. So again I am a little Martha problem.
Hub is in the other room watching some sport thing. So every once in a while and always at the wrong while we hear him yell "OH COME ON".. This is a problem . I need to rein his butt in...
FINALLY it is over and the kids go back to their flipping year book GOD why now??
But I am nice.
Finally when the counselor who created and runs this group is packing up she thanks me for being the worlds greatest hostess...(which I am) and then turns to the hub and thanks him so much for all his help preparing and setting up.....HUH???
He says 'Your welcome'...
FOR WHAT???? Getting the ice?????
Really??? I am standing right there...Dear God....

YES, PROBLEM!!!! YES, WORRY!!! No, not really too tired to put up a fight....
Martha out!!!