Monday, October 31, 2011
I do all (most of ..99%) the grocery shopping. And when I do:
---I buy food for the whole family--- NOT just my own food. It is for all to enjoy. Whatever is mine is theirs!!
I do much of the cooking (not the best of) . And when I do:
---I cook for the whole family--- Even when it means different meals for different family members.
I do all of the laundry and fold every ones clothes with the most loving care. And Holy Crap can I fold!!!.
--- In fact the other members get their clothes, beautifully folded, separated by person, type, and EVEN color. YES, I do. My clothes get basic folding. That's ok with me as long as my boys (BIO, please come home!!) are happy and look good. Really
I do the social planning for the entire family. I have parties, plan outings, vacations, etc. I decorate the house for every possible season/holiday, so that there is always a festive air in the home.
I buy all of the families necessities. No need goes unattended. I would still be buying them clothes, but the teens now think I am a dork clothes buyer. (Fine with me, btw)
NOW......... Here is the confusing part;
On the few occasions when someone in the house, goes to the grocery store and buys something, it is THEIRS... ONLY theirs. If I try to share; I get a flat out bitch fest from Adorable (not so lately), or a hmmppff grunt from the hub. What's theirs is clearly just theirs.
All the laundry that I DO sits on the guest bed in the downstairs bedroom until each member takes theirs upstairs. NOW remember I do all the laundry. When I ask them to carry my little pile up WHILE they are taking their own up, I get super huffing....
The other Sunday morning after finishing our various chores, the hub comes into the kitchen and started making breakfast (he is a really good cook and makes a kick ass breakfast). I said "Are you making breakfast for everyone?" and I swear he answered me with , "Well, Alex already ate."
wait for it.... wait for it... wait for it.... I DID. Finally. "Oh did you eat?"
Thursday, September 22, 2011
I am outraged that they started stalking me at the moment I turned .. ? ... no where near Senior/Retired age.
This whole Internet advertising/stalking thing is not only scary, it's pissing me off.
Even you, Blogspot. You are not exempt here. You send me crap about stuff I may or may NOT be referring to in my posts.
For the record (I bet They won't read this part) .....
I am NOT single. I am not looking for single men my age in my area. (Yep, They know where I live and sorta know, kinda...close-ish, my age).
I am NOT ready for AARP
I AM NOT IN MENOPAUSE!!!!!
For the love of God, please quit. Because if you don't quit, I'm gonna....DO Something VERY radical..
When I figure out what that might be.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Like every other day, I just look at it and think it is too big a job for this early in the day.
TODAY, I figured out why.
Sleeping is hard work for me these days and requires mucho accouterments.
Let's see, there is the fan that blasts on my face sitting on the dresser.
There is the ceiling fan at full blast as well.
THEN, the bed...
There is the heating pad that is on low -all night- every night- to try to ease my lower back.
There is the special Tempurpedic pillow to help the arthritis in my neck....
This is sometimes covered by yet another pillow when I wake up and read in the night... NOW when that happens I wake later with a neck ache and have to remove the extra pillow...
There is also the little-ish pillow that has to be between my knees when laying on my left side OR big knee pain the next day.
And then there is the body pillow. This large puff provides all kinds of therapeutic benefits. Not really, I just use it to drape half my body over when I am sleeping on the Other side.
Those are just the players..
Then there is the condition of the actual bed and sheets.
When I move at night it takes all kinds of re-adjusting and .. because there is clearly a ventilation problem in my room, I get hot then cold then hot then, ....you get the idea. So the sheets and blankie look like they were the survivors of a tornado.
I am completely exhausted just thinking about it.
No wonder I am not refreshed when I wake up and
I THINK this might be why I have been having dreams that are so scary that I have to make myself become fully awake to shake them off.
Does this have anything to do with age?
Friday, September 9, 2011
The other day when I wanted a little pinch to put on something.... IDK maybe it was my cereal. JK, I am not that nutty....ANYWAY,
The little tiny bowl was gone. WHAT?
Since I seem to lose everything these days, I look around, figuring I misplaced it. Look Look Look. Nope it is gone and the tiny little bowl is in the dishwasher. Hhmmmm???
The hub comes into the kitchen and I so sweetly ask him about it.
He put it back in the box in the pantry, cause that is "where it belongs".
"But I like to use little pinches of it."
This confused the poor man. He did the head tilt like the dog. HUH??
Again, so sweetly "Please just leave it out for me." I have to go on to say that it is fine. It doesn't take up much room, the ants don't want it. It is FINE.
I replace the little tiny bowl of yumminess and put a note under it that reads: "Do Not Remove."
You know, just to be clear. xoxo
SO, this morning while preparing a marinade (God, I AM Wonder Woman), I pull out the Cuisinart and start with the first two ingredients. Garlic and salt. (I am thinking at this point that the coarse salt is a clever move on my part.) I crush the million cloves into machine and go for the salt.
OMG!!! The little tiny bowl is missing. The note is still there, but not the tiny little bowl.
I AM PISSED. Ok well maybe it was a joke. I whip out my cell phone (that I still can't properly use) and text the Hub.
"WHERE IS THE SALT?" No smiley face, no xoxo. I just want the F-ing salt.
I go to the pantry get the box, bring it back to the Cuisinart, am about to measure the salt. Reach down for the measuring spoon and HOLY CRAP.... the little tiny bowl was right there next to the machine JUST waiting for me.
What the helga is going on here. It didn't just appear there. The only other member of the fam that was home, was Adorable and he was upstairs preparing for school. REALLY???
I had to take a moment and collect myself. Breath breath.
I PUT IT THERE!!! I am seriously concerned about my sanity.
BUT the worst part? I have to apologize to the Hub.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
SO, instead I will share the thing that brings me back to center when the world is spinning out of control.
My newest baby:
Saturday, July 9, 2011
It has been hot here, but normally at night I still sleep with jammies (sometimes a hood is required), covers and a heating pad. Sheees I sound like a cat.
Anyhoooo the last few nights, I have had the air on, my ceiling fan on high and a second fan blasting on my face while I sleep. AND STILL hot.
I am waking up not refreshed, hot and super starving. Really hungry. Like burning tummy hungry.
There are other mysteries too. Like memory stuff. I can't even remember what I was gonna tell you that I forgot. It'll come to me...probably in the middle of the hot night.
I have often been forgetful when there is a lot on my mind. You know, like when you are really busy at work and you get up from your desk and start walking, then completely forget why you got up? Everyone does that occasionally, right?
Well that is not the type of forgetfulness I am talking about. BUT I still can't remember the TYPE I am talking about.
Oh yeah, I think I got it.
The other day while preparing for a dinner party (which was lovely), I opened the fridge, remembered (yeah me) that I needed some room temperature butter.
Pheww, plenty of time for it to get to room temp. I needed my butter dish...
I looked everywhere even where it normally is. You know it is never where it normally is, so I guess that is not really it's normal spot. Whatever
Look look look....It was where it normally is (or isn't) and I missed it the first three times I looked. No worries I got it. THEN:
I couldn't find the stick of butter I had taken out. REALLY, I lost it in my kitchen and the ONE place it for sure WASN'T was in the fridge. I looked everywhere. How could I lose a stick of butter and what if it was somewhere hot? I think almost everywhere was hot since it was a million degrees out.
I finally had to quit looking and try very hard to convince myself that I am not really going crazy.
I went on about my not-so-merry way and continued cleaning and prepping the dinner. When I went to the drawer that holds my hot pads... I FOUND THE ROGUE STICK O' BUTTER!!!!
In the fricken drawer.
As I am seriously questioning my sanity, I over hear on my TV a movie trailer about some alien sucking memory out of human brains!!! Oh thank God. It is not my fault.
But where are those pesky aliens hanging out?
Wait..... what was I saying????
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
High School graduations in Southern California are not something I have ever looked forward to. They are usually crowded, hot, boring and long. They seem to last forever.I could not escape the Oak Park High School graduation this year of my oldest child. That would not have been right.
This one though, bias aside, was remarkable. And here's why:
The new principle rocks and it shows the minute he hits the stage. He is very bright, open minded, has kids in our schools and he has a lovely accent. Somehow, even his spewing of all the school and student statistics was engaging. Our guests were actually listening with rapt interest. (Admittedly the school stats are fairly astonishing, but still.)
The student speeches were entertaining and some moving. At one point I think almost the entire audience had a teary eye.
The view from the stands of the football field is like a postcard.
The Flash Mob was completely unexpected and beyond words. I have chills just thinking about. There was not one parent there that will ever listen to "You Make My Dreams Come True", by Hall and Oates without replaying that scene over in their mind. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zflhizEI-0o
BUT the thing that made it most remarkable, was what my brother said to me after the ceremony. His children are older and he has been through three graduations.
He said, "I knew that you really researched Oak Park before you moved way out here. I knew the schools must be good, the area must be safe...But WOW, now I really understand why you live in this off-the-beaten-path paradise. This was the most amazing graduation I have ever attended."
Yes, parents, we knew the same school stats. We knew the crime rates. We knew that someone would always have an eye on our kids (cause everybody knows everyBODY in Oak Park). We all moved out here for the kids. But after that spectacular event and hearing it from an outsider,
I KNOW WE DID THE RIGHT THING!!!
Ahhhhh.... one down one to go.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
I have also been with Camp Chris a lot lately. And that is super fun for me. There is something unmatchable about spending time with your sib who is only 14 months younger. It think it gets it's magic from growing up together, being so close in age and mostly really liking each other. I really really dig my sibs..again thank you Mom.
Camp Chris came up and took me out to dinner the Monday before my b'day. That was followed by Easter weekend and then he was in my hood for work early the following week and spent two days hangin with me. We had a rip roaring ball. Dinner and drinks at a new place where he did the sign and a some fun shopping. The next day, we decided that I should continue the celebration and have a birthday week. No, birthday month. Nahhh.... a summer of fun. Perfect. I have no intention of stopping the fun anytime before September. REALLY.
The day after started with some greasy but gluten free breakfast then we decided to go look at some vacant homes. I think he should buy property so that is what we did. The cool thing about CC is that no matter what we are doing, he is fully engaged. That is such a wonderful quality. It always feels like he wants to be there. He better want to be with me or I will beat him up.
So in between the viewing and in line with the birthday month, we decided to have a (again) not so healthy meal. The deli was yum. Then we decide to see another vacant home.
We get there and we look around. Only inside though cause the back doors (a million doors) were all locked and there were no keys for them. No biggie we saw the yard from the windows. Somewhere about the second or perhaps master bedroom my stomach starts to go whacko. Too much fun I guess.
We are nearly done, so again no biggie we will dash back to my house. As I am about to lock the front door CC says "Wait I am gonna go use the bathroom."
"Ok no biggie." I was relieved cause I was gonna go too.
He uses the first floor potty and by this point my tummy is gonna explode. I run upstairs and go into the hall bath. CRAP no toilet paper. Tummy is super angry. Run to the master bath. Phew there is paper. But the door does not provide enough privacy. Grab the roll and run to the hall bath. Shut and lock the door, put up the toilet seat and see yellow water. Then it hits me...
The water is OFF. Which means no flushing. CRAP CRAP CRAP....
Run downstairs and yell to CC through the door. He yells back..
"Oh S---!" yep
He tries to flush.. NOPE.
In the meantime, I am in pain and jumping around.
He came out and said the was gonna go see if he could find something to fix the situation. I am not very handy and I have no idea what he is thinking. I can only think about my tummy situation at this point.
CC heads off into the garage. In an effort to forget about my situation, I start looking around the house again. CC is taking way too long. So I open the door to the garage and he is not there. I call to him, no answer. Where did he go??
Too preoccupied to ponder.
Walk around the house some more. Then I get a text from CC...
"I am stuck in the garage..(smiley face)."
Ok, I go to let him in. Open the door, he is not there. Call to him again, no answer. What the Helga????
I am pretty sure he is in the backyard, but I can't get there. I look through the windows but I don't see him.
Then I hear him calling me. I don't know where it is coming from until he screams... "I AM IN THE GARAGE!"
I swear to God I go to the garage again and he is NOT there. SO I go back in. Hear him again. He says "the garage!!"
I go back, he is not there. I am not leaving this time. I stand in the open doorway and shout to him. He comes plowing through the exterior garage door. He is holding a gallon of something blue. Windshield wiper fluid...?? Again, not handy...Don't know..don't care.
He goes to the bathroom, closes the door, makes a racket, comes out and says, "Let's get outta here!"...
Yes please cause I am about to die.
We leave, I lock the door. I put the key back in the lockbox and am about to floor it to the car. I stop dead in my tracks. CC looks at me funny.
The lockbox is electronic and it shows the agents info that unlocks the door....
YEP, they are gonna know it is me. This house is listed by the two biggest agents in my area and they are not very nice. CRAP!!
I swear... I decided that the second my tummy was better I would call the agents. This is a customary courtesy. I am courteous ALWAYS!!
Ring ring. Blah blah..I am me and I showed your blah blah listing and "Yes the house is nice, but the toilet was used and not flushed. You should get the water back on and take care of that."
So nice of me.
What it is true???
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Boys did the fish fish and more fishing thing. Adorable could spend the rest of his eternity doing nothing else. The Hub, bless his heart, does it for the Adorable. Hub's blessed heart's not really in it.Bio, Sis Ex, the Fredster (black lab) and I just hung hung hung out. Me, a little more then them. Thou, Fredster..well a little belly action there. (He can't read)
We had the best time and my skin issue is nearly gone. I think that Sis and Mom's diagnosis of de-stress and get sun and saltwater (thanks Mom) cured me. It is not a for sure though, cause I am also on Gluten free and a crap load of vitamins....well not that many, but weird ones. Like Milk Thistle and Corcumin..since you asked.
Anyway, don't really care what did it. I am feeling so much less like a Leper that my life is really improving. Also, I think Spring time helps. Maybe I have that SAD thing...Seasonal Affect Disorder. (hate the word disorder and is it affect/effect??)
Whatever..... I will get to the bottom of it some day. I am JUST happy to know that it is not the M-WORD. So pheewww on those who have had the unbelievable audacity to suggest such perverseness to me.
Coming home from the Eastern Time zone is always good, cause you have no trouble waking up early. And I like early, when no one is up. Peaceful.
Since we had thirteen thousand delays we got home two days before our bags. Whatever. No biggie. I got to go to work wearing something just a notch above pj's and have a valid excuse. It was comfy. But the next day, I had a real appointment that required professional attire so thankfully the bags were here.....Wait, I don't think I even wore anything from the suitcase. Whatever.
With the body clock not yet reset, I was up super early. Made lunches did the kid thing and decided I could get work-ready before driving them, go directly to my office and get some work done pre-appointment. I was loving this...
Get the kids off and am driving to work...Icky traffic in my Mayberry town at this time of day...but Whatever....I am early and I am de-stressed....ahhhh relax. Stop and Go traffic...Whatever...relax.. I still will get an hour of work in before my meeting...ahhh.
Then evidently there was some accident or some other stupid hold up and it took about 15 minutes to get to the next light. No problem still will have 45 minutes. Another 10 to get to the next light. No problem, I can at least go through my mail when I get in.
At this stop light I look down at my feet and see that I am wearing two different shoes!!!! Yea I really am that stupid. I was trying to decide which pair I liked better and since the fam couldn't decide unanimously I decided to walk around and think about it.
I forgot I was thinking about it I guess..... Race home, get the missing shoes..both, cause I am still undecided and now that I am flustered this is NO time to be making critical decisions like that. Race race race...ARG!!! Ya know those kids better learn how to make decisions for me before ....I don't even know. The only thing I DO know is that this was their fault!!!!
Whatever........ I think the skin condition is starting to come back...
Friday, March 25, 2011
I have concluded that Bio and I are Gluten Intolerant. I am sure that I have finally discovered what is causing all my symptoms. The pregnant-like belly, the skin issues that are gonna make me raw and bald (why do we need hair anyway? we should all be bald...just saying), the aches and pains in my joints, etc. It is not age, weight or even the M-word. It's NOT. I am so sure that this is the answer, that I started us on a Gluten free diet.
Bio's got her various symptoms, but enough about her already.
I am waiting until I need to do the Big grocery shop to supply the kitchen with all we will need to be Gluten free. In the meantime I am using all my acquired knowledge and using all the existing food in the house to hold us over. Not like we are gonna starve, right?
SO this morning, while trying to figure out what she can eat for breakfast (she needs a nutritious breakie cause she has a big test today), I decide I will make us scrambled eggs. GOOD.
As my mornings normally go, I only have two eggs left. Oh well, I decide I will add a little more milk and this will be sufficient for the two of us.
Get the eggs, milk and the bowl. Go to the sink to dump the cracked egg shells. Crack the first egg open...RIGHT into the sink..NOT the bowl. CRAP, one egg down. But this stops me in my tracks because I am such a moron that I must laugh at myself until I pee.
Bio who (damn it) witnesses this, says "Did you just crack that into the drain? Crazy lady!"
Shut your trap offspring, before I crack the next one over your head of wet hair!!! You wanna see crazy?
Whatevs, there is enough for her breakfast. Which I lovingly go about finishing. Test day after all!
While laboring over the hot stove, I so politely ask Bio to feed the dogs.
"I can't I am wearing socks."
NOT kidding. Is she really unable to feed the dogs because there are socks on her feet???
Dear God, what the hell is happening here? I have to wonder if this is related to Gluten somehow. GOOGLE me....
Since I am now questioning my sanity, I don't push this. I will feed them myself after I drop the kids off at school...Which is BTW about two blocks away. Yeah I see it too...looking crazy now.
Go about the rest of the morning crap. Lunches, teeth, blah blah. Then Bio asks me if I filled out..I don't know something really important for school.
I don't answer her. She asks again, this time adding "aaaaa, crazy lady???"
Still don't answer...She whines at me again.
I turn to her, smile my I love you smile and say to the precious love, "I can't answer you now because I am wearing socks."
Monday, March 7, 2011
The other day while in my office, I was sitting at my desk with one of our marketing people and she looks up to the picture of me I have hanging up...(it is there to remind me that I am in fact a "smiling Realtor") and she says to me.."I have been meaning to talk to you about your head shot."
Ok I am thinking here comes the compliment. Heck it is a great shot...should be it cost me $500.
But OH no. She says "You really need to get a new picture."
HUH????? Brace yourself...It can't be bad, can it?
"This picture doesn't look anything like you. You need a new one."
OMG. I hate her. What the hell?? Why?? It is me and it looks like me. Well some part of me.
I used to like this woman. I used to think she was our marketing genius. How wrong I was. Never using her again.
So the real news that the results are in....
The Gyno's office called me and I am after all NOT pregnant. The ultrasound tech also called me to tell me that there is nothing going on inside of me. The poor dear was taken slightly aback when I yelled at her... "So are you telling me there is NOT a 20 pound tumor inside me?" She really really didn't know what to say. She tested me with a tiny chuckle. WRONGO bucko, this is not funny.
I guess I go back to the drawing board. ARG
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I love my current gyno. For some reason I always tell him everything and he has now become my go-to doc for everything.
But Holy Crap, preparing for these appointments...MAN, what a production. I spend more time getting ready for the gyno than I do for .....nevermind.
It is a big deal. Don't be getting all judgeyyy on me. Think about what you do before you see the dentist. You brush your teeth while getting ready. You brush them again right before you leave the house and again the second you arrive at the office. YES, you do.
So this prep requires a bath, to soak and shave. Then it requires a shower to rinse off and wash the hair. Then dry, dry dry. Then deodorant. I don't know what it is but I could botox my underarms and the minute he comes near them for the underarm boob check (NO, my boobs are not in my armpits..you have glands there that need to be felt!!!), I start sweating bullets. This does NOT hurt and it is far less invasive than everything else he is about to do to me, but really I really really react...
Then ya gotta get dressed and this is tricky cause you don't want to get hot or too cold before you go, but you want to wear as little as possible because they are gonna weigh you BEFORE you get naked. Why?
And WHY WHY WHY do they take your blood pressure AFTER they weigh you??? There is not a normal person on the planet that hasn't wondered this (right??). So why don't they re-order those fricken tests. Thankfully, I have always had low blood pressure, cause after that little trip on the scale, I am lucky I didn't have a heart attack. I am not kidding!!!
So he does all the other lovely, dignified parts of the exam and tells me all the little crap that is wrong and all the stupid little tests that he wants to run. And the other tests that I will now need cause I am so old..... ARG! YEAH yeah, ok. I do argue a little. But ultimately I don't care.
I tell him so and then I say, "Look all I want is for you to make me thinner and happier!" (Thinner would make me happier..BTW)
He says in his cute little Dr.-ie way, "I'm not a magician."
Ha Ha funny man.
I want what I want. And I am gonna get it. Gloves off....I start whining. (He asked for it.)
I do leave with all that I want.
But in exchange, I must promise to have all the fun filled test that he wants, including ONE that will surely rip away any last piece of dignity that I might have left.
Being a woman is so hard. Seriously, isn't creating and giving birth enough? Then you sustain life while your boobs fall off. Then... Dear God, that is an entirely separate Blog that will NEED to be blogged..But not today.
Whatever I don't care.....
Ahhhhh. I'll keep you posted. Maybe
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I keep plenty of frozen fruit...like Mangoes and Pineapple. I also freeze my questionable bananas.
So the smoothie consisted of yogurt, frozen mangoes, juice and a frozen 'nanner.
I threw it all into my trusted blender (not really so trusted any more since it is nearly 20 years old). Poured it into the to go cup and decided I should taste it. I rarely taste them since this is a fairly frequent occurrence. I make a mean smoothie... BUT, I did taste it. Holy crap I nearly died. It tasted really hot...which is quite the trick since it is frozen and all fruit.
Crap, I spit it out and then freaked out. I couldn't figure it out. I checked the dates on the yogurt and the juice. All cool. Hmmmm???? It was still a mystery when I threw it down the sink, washed out my mouth a million times. My stomach started burning. What the Hellga???
I then looked in the freezer. How can frozen fruit be bad???? That bad???
I took out the baggie that held the frozen 'nanner and Dear God.....it was a Frozen HOT Italian Sausage!!!!! I fell over laughing while holding back the urge to puke. Am I that stupid? HOLD on...please don't answer that.
OMG.....I am not the best in the kitchen.....but this has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever done.
To add insult to injury (ego and tummy) I made sucko lunches for the kid-lettes.
Then for dinner, since Bio had been gone on a retreat for the weekend, I wanted to make my veggie kid a lovely cheesy, veggie lasagna. Hugely involved. Followed the recipe...that SUCKED too.
I guess it figures that if I make a sausage smoothie, it would be an "at your own risk" kinda day....
But, forget it I am so out of the kitchen forever....
Sorry Hub, but you're up.....
Monday, January 10, 2011
I wonder what that means??
Does it mean her memories of childhood holidays are unpleasant? Does it mean that she doesn't like the look of the decorations? Does it mean...Yeah I really don't care that much.
I keep that sucker and all the crap that goes along with the season up as long as possible. My tree always becomes a major fire hazard before I take it down. Part of it is I hate putting all the stuff away..(too much like cleaning). But mostly it makes me happy. It is pretty. The lighting is beautiful (ambiance above all else). It reminds of a happy occasion. I just love it. Then it goes and I am sad.
I would normally analyze the crap outta this, but I am not gonna. New leaf.
Christmas means something different to everyone and it changes as you grow.
For the kids, it's presents and family fun and great food. Then you HAVE kids...
For the parents it's watching the kids enjoy the presents, family and good food....and clean up.
For the dogs it's new toys and a yummy treat or two. Well, they are always just dogs...
For Gobble it was.."Oh is Santa the guy in the sky with the moose?" REALLY...so funny, I peed.
I don't know why we can't have it more than once a year. I guess I could since I am the cruise director of this ship...HA, well most of the time.
It is an exhausting and extremely expensive (wow lot of 'E' words), but way way way worth it.
Then it's New Years. Thank God, cause 2010 had to go. What a sucko year. New Years eve can be fun, but I really don't like it. Too much pressure and I hate pressure. This year however was a piece of cake cause I was basically alone with the dogs. Once again, I was reading a scary book about a serial killer that tortures and kills women that are home alone....I DON'T know what is wrong with me. I really don't.
But the boys went to Grandparents house. The Bio went out to party and I stayed home. It was actually ok. I decided that ringing in the new year quietly means that I am gonna have a lovely peaceful year.
RIGHT UNIVERSE??? Cause I am done playing with you!!! So knock it off and tell Publishers Clearing House that I need to win that Million $$$ a year for life.