Saturday, February 27, 2010

A Night At The Inn ...

SO the other night...really check me on this, cause I could be "totally insane"...on a school night, my bio - teen comes up to me and really SUGARY sweet, says.. "Mommy (really), can I sleep at Chloe's tonight?'
"No Lily, it's a school night."
"SOOOOOOOO (sugary sweet gone....prepare to duck and weave), I have beforeaaaaaa!!!"
"Yes, Honey when her mom was out of town, and unreachable so her mom asked us and we decided you could stay with her (and her guard dog) so she wouldn't get scared."
"WELLLLL this is the same exact thingaaaaaa."
"Really why, is her mom out of town?"
'NOOOOOO....arg, she hasn't talked to her boyfriend in 3 days and she is really upsetaaaaa!"
"Is her mom home with her?"
"Yeah but what does that have to do with ANYTHINGaaaaa?"
"Lily it is a school night and there are not special circumstances..."
Stomp stomp off...dials her phone. I, of course, am gonna listen in.
"...yeah same lame....really unfair..." blah blah blah...BS
Scared, but gonna go for it I say,
"So, Chloe's mom said no too?"
"Yeahaaa, but at least her mom had a valid reason. At least her mom is fair." Yeah I suck...
"Oh what was that...?"
"Chloe didn't take out the trash."
Honest to God can a person even speak to that? This is when my experience pays off. I know it is time to totally acquiesce.
"Yep, you're right Lily..." and then:
I walk/run (not too obvious an escape, I don't want to be followed) to the bathroom, grabbing my wine DUH, and my book, shut and lock the door. Say a prayer to the hormone God and stay put until the coast is clear....
Shit she is exhausting....

SHOUT OUT from my main niece Jessica who (for the record) never spent a school night at a friend's house before(aaaaaaaa) and turned out more than perfectly normal ;-)

Friday, February 26, 2010

I am a Real Estate agent, so try as I might I have time on my hands (I could clean house ... but no thanks). While chatting with a few co-workers, I was bitching about ... well everything ... but mostly about how my body is betraying me, these women who are both older and wiser than me told me that I am starting menopause!!!

WHAT??? They are totally smoking crack.  AM NOT ... I set those old hags straight when I informed them that I am 14 months pregnant. Ummm YES I am.  Well actually now I am a few months farther along, buy yeah that's what it is.  I will for sure keep you posted on that.

Blogging came up at an office party (we all have too much time on our hands), while drinking some super delicious healthy cocktail. It contained the very antioxidant fruit pomegranate, so I was doing this 'turn-coat' body a favor ... anyway, I was telling a story about ... oh I can't remember, something ridiculous teen adventure and someone told me I was SOOOO funny I should blog ...  Then my boss (who by the way, does not like the time we have on our hands) chimed in "Yes you should blog about Real Estate" ... huh? Forget that, if I were to blog it would be about the fact that I work out for two hours a day, eat less and take better care of myself than ever and I CAN"T cross my legs anymore.  REALLY, what the hell is happening??? Yeah, that's funny ... LMAO ...

So after the SECOND ... yes second "OnStar" radio ..yes RADIO, commercial made me CRY (like could hardly see the road kinda cry), I decided this huge joke being played on me should be documented.  The Universe is not gonna make a fool out of me ...  NO WAY!!!
We can all watch this unfold together.

We can all laugh at the wild crap that happens in my world as my teenage daughter tries her hardest to kill me by being a teenage girl, as my son does the same while doing double back flips on the tramp, as I panic at the possibility that my exchange student daughter will get hopelessly homesick, as the economy is messing up my vacation plans; and, of course, as my pregnancy progresses ... and it will make us all feel better.
We'll see ... what tomorrow holds!!!