Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Stress on a Shingle

Blog blog blog....
So, as Adorable heals to the point of becoming a pain in my tush....he can't really do much so of course he is a pain...I discover what I thought was a bug bite on my side.
Whoa it hurt. Had the Hub check it out. Yep a bite. Later it started to feel like a bruise around it. Oh GOD, I got bitten by the Flesh Eating spider....Naturally!!! What else would I get attacked by????
That night while the Hub was watching TV in the ex-cave room, he discovered the culprit. The nasty spider crawled up the arm of the chair and taunted the him. We have a strict 'No-Kill' policy here, but I guess we needed him in the event I might need an anti-venom...ya know, the "team" would need to know the exact arachnid that bit me. So it died and got bagged.
So sorry.
The next day I wake up and the pain sorta spread out. Hhhmmm? I thought the venom was just spreading out. But since I wasn't missing any flesh, I was relieved and went about my business. By that night it felt like my whole side had been whacked by an oar. So my Moms, told me I HAD to go see the Dr. in the morning STAT...(this is now MY word, well it isn't a word it is an..??? Bio????).
Yeah yeah, whatever.
In the a.m. I go. Show the Dr..
"Have you had a lot of stress lately?"
"Yes." I want to laugh, cause I way prefer it....but I get teary...ok I cry a little.
I tell a little glimpse of the Adorable hell and stop midway cause I am gonna really really cry if I go on.
"WTF"...Ok that is not really what I said.
"You need to take an Anti-viral (thing) five times a day and take it easy. Rest."
Cool, I like that.
Wait a second...
"Can I work out?"
"Work out, like exercise?"
I am thinking...don't play dumb with me...I have seen you at the gym....remember?? Three days before I came to see you for throwing my back out..AT THE GYM....
"Oh no! No exertion."
Really?? Really really??
The one fricken thing I want to do?? WANT to do, I can't???
Ok fine, then this is how this will go down:
I will not clean (as if), grocery shop do laundry or make meals. I will not taxi the kids around or supervise anything.
I will go to and from work.
I will lay around and read and sleep.
I will take bathes and lay around and read and sleep.
YEP, that is what I will do.
Who the hell am I kidding??
Poor Spider....

Thursday, July 15, 2010


Drama take TWO.
Adorable came home from Children's and went directly into the cave room. Which is where he stayed while I showered...long, hot, heavenly shower. Put on the most ridiculous jammie pants in the world (pink with "Hello my name is High Maintenance" all over them...really...this turns into the don't wear dirty undies lesson). And then I blogged STAT. Ahhhh, peace. My Adorable is home, no one will wake him and I am clean.

Somewhere around home 15 hours, Adorable wakes sweaty and uncomfortable. He wishes to shower. Ok, he did it in the hospital once, he'll be ok. Get him in and decide to change the sheets to make it more comfy. The shower turns off and I go in (without looking...dear God not allowed!!) and ask him if he is ok...SHIT...he goes down. The STUEY monster fainted and knocked his HEAD on the shower door. OMG! AYKM???

I scream for the hub. He comes into the bathroom white as sheet (poor guy...he really got the crap end of all this) and tries to get him out of there. Starts to pick him up....he is conscious now. But like a slippery baby Adorable passes out again in Hubs arms. We get him to the bed and I call 911. AYKM???

Fire department boys come and they are so fricken awesome. They are quick, professional, gentle and cute. I love them. I am gonna bake for them.

Then the transport team arrives and we are off to Children's. Spoke to my angels on the phone and they both agreed to getting him some fluids and checking him out. OK whatever we need to do. Get in the ambulance and realize what I am wearing. OMG...I am NOT kidding right now...I seriously look like a mental patient.

We go through the ambulance bay entrance...to date the only way I had entered this glorious new home. And we are in ER for a million hours. They are going to admit us, they just have to find a bed...Really do they lose them? Cause it takes really really long to find them.

While in the ER they order another Cat Scan...and give him MORE morphine. Dear God, he is only 13.

We go for the Scan. As he is being pulled out, he tells me his stomach hurts really bad. I think it is the bite of McFlurry he ate. NO, not that. He sits up and I see a little rash on his tummy. He tells me he is feeling weird and that his hands and feet are tingling. I look at his hands and they are seizing up. Same with his feet. OMG what is happening to him???

This scares the crap out of him and US. We get rushed back to the ER. Racing down the hall with the gurney and IV pole. The tech throws his ID badge at me to open the upcoming door. Running running.....OMG, AYKM??? (I wanna puke)

Turns out it was just a reaction to the morphine...but because the clever boy scared the entire ER, the scan results were read STAT...that is when STAT works for you.

The precious brain is fine and once they locate a rogue bed, we will get admitted. They found I think right where they left it. Forgetful?

Two more days living at Children's until the love boy could really eat before going home.
I liked my temporary home ok, but ahhhh coming home home...SWEET...(I cried)

He is improving now and has had some pain free days...followed by some more pain. But overall improving and we know his brain is fine (or gonna be).

The school called yesterday and said he has missed too much so he shouldn't come back to summer school...

Hmmmm? Is he that clever??????

I have to say that other than how silly I looked roaming the halls of the hospital in my pysch-ward outfit...there was nothing fun or funny about this...

Friday, July 2, 2010


Whoa!!! In my last blog I wrote that I need diet wine "STAT".. I don't know exactly what STAT stands for but I do know what it means. And WOW I got to hear it at Children's Hospital LA regarding Adorable 13's brain scan. When you hear "I want a third CScan on him STAT" about your son, you might as well throw up right there. You are in the hospital after all. They are used to cleaning up vomit. Really though, so NOT funny.

Adorable 13, in his continuing effort to kill me (Stuey), took a massive tumble on his skateboard. This on the day Paraguay was leaving us. A day I was trying to prepare myself for...unsuccessfully. AFS, the exchange student group tells you to make plans for your family for the day of and a few days after your student leaves...as a distraction... so you won't be so upset. Well I guess since I didn't make specific plans for us post Paraguay departure...Adorable 13 decided he would take care of that.

Paraguay's last day:
First thing in the morning, we rushed to the mall to exchange an item and pick up one last USA gift. Back home to pick up Bio. Drop the girls off for their last "mani/pedi", then rush home to shower. The plan at this point was to pick up the girls, bring them home, load up Paraguay, go out to a lovely lunch then drop her off with a tearful goodbye.

Things did not go as planned. I get out of the shower and am applying the million lotions that are NOT slowing the aging process and I hear Hub call to me and ask me to come downstairs...He called me by name. I never hear my name..clue number one. I tell him I am not dressed and he said "that doesn't matter, please come down here now"..I KNEW ...I start downstairs asking him to tell me...PLEASE what is it??
"Alex (aka Adorable naughty boy) fell on his skateboard."

In the family room Adorable is laying on the couch, his head in Hub's lap. He is crying and strange looking. I look at Hub's as he calmly tells me that he is going into shock and that it is bad....I am the Dr. in this house, but when things are huge, hub knows....
Ok ER. I run upstairs throw on clothes...I hear myself whispering "Oh no oh no oh God..."
We get Adorable up to walk him to the car and he is shaking and babbling.
I need to stay and get Paraguay off. She is travelling with a huge group and there is no changing that.
They go to the ER. I go to the get the girls. Bio knows by looking at me. We rush home, get poor Paraguay together and all (I mean ALL) of her stuff in my car.
Off to the ER. Walking up, I see Hub's car sort of parked at the door...at the door...not in a space. Oh GOD....
Get inside and the check in lady says something about being the mom and tells me to wait there. She motions to another ER employee and they walk off in a huddle. WTF???? That is my baby.....
Get in there and find a team of people around my baby on the bed with Hub's hands holding him. They start talking and the Hub is looking at me in a way I will never forget. He is the bravest man I know and he was so visibly scared, my whole body started shaking. I heard words like"if he recovers" and more, but that is enough.

Adorable had been majorly drugged to calm him for the CScan, but now they needed to wake him for a neuro exam. Hub told me I didn't want to be in there when they did. He told me he was not good. That is when Mommy Tiger kicked back in and I was in it. Look out, and from that moment on I never left him.

It was so horrible. We were being transported to Children's....the best kid hospital in the city, after the second CScan, to make sure he was stable for transport. STABLE???? At one point we were to be heliported....OMG!!! But that would have been a cool thing for Adorable to tell his friends while giving the Helmet Safety talk (which he WILL be doing).

We were in that ER for 12 plus hours and in that time Adorable woke a few times and each time his speech and memory improved a little. At this point Hub told me he was going to be fine. It was not to make me feel better (everyman for himself right now..and really no judgement here), but he meant it and he knew it. I always believe him, so I knew he would be ok. And when Adorable spoke to me, I knew Hub was right on.

Bio (rock that she is) was so scared. Paraguay had to leave us from the ER... our big Goodbye. She left in tears not knowing what would become of Adorable 13.

Eventually we made it to Children's...via ambulance (anti-climatic) and were admitted to the PICU (Pediatric ICU, you know what that is) and holy crap....it was just like TV shows. Amazing and Awful....

When there was a calm moment we learned that Adorable had two significant bruises on the front of his brain, some bleeding on the back of his brain and a slight skull fracture...ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? NO.

The story continues for four more world changing days. He did not improve enough on day two/three (not sure) so the head of Neurosurgery orders the third CSacn STAT... REALLY STAT? Why? Why? Why? What is wrong? He was not getting better and he was gray-ish. But my mommy instinct told me and so did Hub that he was gonna be fine. But STAT???? This is when I got really scared.

I didn't know how scared until my Angel (Karen our Dr.) told me the results were great and that he WOULD NOT get worse. He would just take a while to get well......OK tears then....
I am the biggest cry baby in the world, but never in the midst of the crisis. But the minute that there is a slight reprieve, flood.

We are home now, thank God for Adorable and the hospital staff... I think I should probably send an apology card to that lovely housekeeping woman that tried to empty our trash while Adorable was sleeping....really sorry, but he needed sleep and I am a mamma bear, mamma tiger.... or any scary animal.
And probably to that nurse that took five minutes to get the morphine..yeah sorry..
And to the tech that tried to take his blood pressure when he was starting to doze...
And to the entire floor when his IV machine went off....
OK EVERYONE......SORRY. GOD I am sorry already.
(But seriously a great hospital...really)

The poor baby has eaten next to nothing in five days. He has been out of bed only a few times and has had a non-stop head ache. He will improve more quickly now in his 'cave room' in the "Quiet house" (says so on the front door). Although, we still have a really long way to go...

I do miss Paraguay, but clever Adorable really really gave us the ULTIMATE distraction. hhmmm??? Will he expect a 'thank you'? NOT GETTING ONE!!!

P.S. Adorable will be grounded for life for this...ha,yeah right..
And I am now running the Children's Hospital LA....just until real estate picks up.
P.P.S. I am singing; "When you sleep, I sleep..just like that"---get J.V.?