Saturday, August 7, 2010

Not for Me...

The market has really had an impact on my botox and our vacationing. Last summer we didn't plan a real vacation... We can enjoy the back yard, swim, have picnics.... YES, I did believe that crap I fed myself!! But as anyone else would have predicted mid-way through summer I was gonna kill someone and we needed to get outta Dodge.

My brother had this super cute, tiny, high tech RVette. (past tense; we have since totalled it, really..) We borrow it, load up and off we went. No reservations, but whatever... Yeah and wait it was a holiday weekend. Sure it'll be fun...

The first night we went to this place that could take us...we pulled in and "hooked up" at night. Even in the dark...and I mean BLACK dark, we could tell it was a dumpy scary place. There were only a few other campers and of course they were right next to us in a tent. (WHY would anyone do that on purpose?) They were definitely criminals on the lamb. Not to worry we have Pal ("baby love"), the killer dog.

When we see the light of day...holy crap!!! This place was just a dust bowl. Honestly there was nothing here but dirt and dust...NOTHING, except the escapees. I pretend to make the best of it while we "cook" breakfast on a fire pit. Evidently, this is part of the fun. huh??? I tried to enjoy it, but ewww, where's a Starbucks?

As soon as I can, without "ruining everything", {"Maaammm, why do you ALWAYS do this? Do what precious? You never let us have ANY FUN!!.......Oh so sorry sweeties, just trying to keep you alive...} I suggest that we get the hell outta there. Not a moment too soon, cause I could tell the ax murderers were ready to poison the dogs, kill us and steal my kids.....Un hook and blast. pphehewww. Drop the kids to play at the beach....while we search for a safe place to sleep for the night.

After calling every "camp site" within 1700 miles we learn that the holiday weekends are booked a year in advance... HUH?? We are outta luck. Crap, we are soo stupid. So we pull into this place that looks ok and find they have an "over-flow" space available. Better than the dust bowl with the serial killers, cool, we take it. Over flow doesn't have "hook ups", but evidently the people who are in the regular spots (the people that plan to come HERE...a year out) have outside power. So we got a huge extension cord and jacked some power from our neighbor dude. We get the kids and bring them back to show them their new home. All things being relative, they dig it...

Walking back and forth to the RV store (what else do you do here?), I saw everything from tents (why why why?) to these huge double wide 700 ft "rigs" (RV lingo). Hmmm, almost interesting Then eeewwww kids, half clothed running around so dirty...wait, this is the Ghetto. True our lives weren't currently in danger,
but these people share pottys..gross
They share showers..(not like the health club sharing, either)..gross
There is dirt everywhere, including under my finger nails...SUPER GROSS..I really hate it here!!

But after a few trips back and forth (these trips included some bomb soft serve ice cream..yum) it started to intrigue me. Some of these campers have their little area all cutesy and cozy. They have lights strung up, designer rugs, matching lawn furniture, fancy bbq's. Wow their areas were even clean. hhmmmm, interesting.

On about the fourth trip I started getting jealous of those big, cool, new, fancy rigs. I wanna be their friend...Yeah, I could see it, we could buy one of those mobile mansions and get all the stuff...and hang with these people. We could get out our calendars together and plan out the next 8 fun.

So that night after cooking dinner, outside cause we don't have a kitchen in our dump..yet...we settle in, the kids watch a move... (Our little dump is actually quite hi-tech) and I am planning out the color scheme of our new RIG (no browns, too typical..that is what all my new friends have..don't want to copy....but don't want to be too different either, they might not like me anymore). I am mentally re-arranging my new new lawn furniture...OMG it is gonna be fantastic....when


Our power goes out...crap!! Did the criminals from the dust bowl find us..did we break some RV law???? What?

Hub bravely goes outside to see what is up....and finds that neighbor dude un-hooked our jacked power to plug in his 60 inch flat screen..seriously... watch a sporting event......REALLY???? This is so messed up on every level that my head explodes... WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE HERE in these stupid metal tubes on wheels, letting their kids run around naked with dirt under their nails??? EEWWW!!! GO HOME!!

For sure...


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Settling of the Dust

Well the dust is settling down around here. It does seem to be landing on my furniture more than usual. Maybe because I am not dusting (no exertion..Dr.'s orders... and dusting really takes it out of me.) Or maybe because there was just MORE dust. Who knows? Too much for me to ponder.

So the S--- on a Shingle disease seems to be subsiding..I think. How could it not? I am taking FIVE humongo Antiviral pills a day for SEVEN days. I should never ever ever get another virus in my life, right? Not sure how they work, but if they got all viruses there would be no more colds, etc.. But how can they work on this nasty virus that lays in wait in the dark recesses of my body, only to jump out and attack me when I am compromised??

Not like that!! When my immune system is tired. Talk about kicking an immune system when it's down. Don't have my MD yet so again, too much for me to ponder.

Naturally though on like day two of nasty stupid disease and no exertion orders....Bio gets sick. At first she is just kinda not feeling well. Not buying it...and I can't believe she could be so selfish. She was with me at the Dr. and heard that I have an actual condition....Then she gets the fever kinda sick. SHIT...There go all my plans for rest, rest , rest. She needs me to take care of her..YES she does!!

Thank God it only lasted about 48 hours. I am surprised it wasn't Mono, cause she is never one to be outdone, ya know. I think the quick recovery had to do with the fact that she is in LOVE and has to spend every fricken waking moment with her boo. VOMIT. They baby talk to each other!!! TOTAL PUKE VOMIT!!

Hub and I tell them all the time that it is so much more than annoying and that someday someone is gonna just projectile on them. They don't listen. This is a lesson they will need to learn o their own. I hope I am a distance, cause ewww. And we can't say "Get a room" cause this is our minor daughter. ARG..whatever!!

Adorable went for his re-check at Children's Hospital LA ( I resigned btw). They did the neuro check, chatted with us and sent us on our merry way. He still has two weeks until he can resume any activities where he could hit his head...which is according to my calculations, like anything. But he can swim and exercise and run (I can see injury here) if he wants. HERE is the big problem...that is NOT what he wants.

He wants to do double back flips on the trampoline. He wants to go "Bomb" the hill on his "long board". He wants to take up Motocross...?? What is that?? He wants do anything where re-injury is imminent. WHY? WHY? WHY?

When he announces these desires, I start the lecture while trying not to hyperventilate. The Hub, however, just smirks with what I think is pride on his face. REALLY???? I am not a boy so I don't get this at all. TOOO much to ponder!!!

All I do know is that, my body can't Shingle it anymore thanks to the massive crap I have been swallowing. BUT it can still attack. It is clever. It is letting the stress go elsewhere. My scalp is flaking off, my body has a rash everywhere...and,yes it was confirmed to be unrelated to Shingle Bells. And that's not all. This old bod is busy doing other torturous things to me, but the visual is already overwhelming, even me.

WHERE is THAT diet wine???