When my beautiful bio-teen was a baby I remember being out in public with her and people would always stop and oohhh and aahhh her (this happens with all babies, I know). At that stage, and being a first time mom, I reveled in it and even encouraged it.
"Yes she is beautiful, thank you … Oh yes, she was born with all that lovely hair … I know, her features don't look like a babies, they are so delicate … " blah blah blah … If I heard myself say that crap now I would puke.
(I do hear that crap in the play section of the mall – where all the moms go with their kids for a mall break. These mothers talk soooo loud to their kids. "RICKIE GOOD JOB JUMPING OFF THAT BLOCK. RICKIE DO YOU WANT TO EAT YOUR CARROTS NOW?" Seriously lady, Rickie fell off that block and he does not want to eat those carrots now or EVER, and just Shhhhh really. I know I was slightly over the top, but I was never that loud … in public anyway … catch me at home at about 7:10 am.)
Things progressed however and when bio became pre-teen and I am talking 10 or 11 years old. I noticed people looking at her everywhere … ok MEN looking at her. At this point, it still seemed to make me feel proud. In my head … "Yes she is a beauty. I made her …" more blah blah blah …
Then the early teen years hit and EVERY male of EVERY age EVERYwhere was ogling her. Like they watch her as she is coming and then turn around to watch her leave. I AM RIGHT HERE, DUDE!!!!! Unbelievable to me. At first it shocked me. Then I had to realize this is human nature (it is why we are thriving species). But after over exposure (cause at this age, I am almost always with her), I started getting really pissed. I began growling at these males. Audible scary growls. Never scary enough.
It continued … duh, don't know why this surprised me, and I got to the point where I would stop dead in my tracks, look at the perp square in the face and say (in a not nice manner) "SHE IS ONLY 14 YEARS OLD, BUDDY!!!!" Swear to God, they did not even see me or hear me. I tried upping the volume, no luck … BEASTS …
Then when she really hit her woman-ness, it was out of control. I tried to growl, tried to intimidate … nothing … then somewhere along the line I got really really mad, 'cause it occurred to me that men were not EVER looking at me anymore. So although my pride kept me from screaming it out loud, it was wailing in my head ..."WHAT ABOUT ME!!!??!! … HEY!!! LOOK AT ME, I AM STILL PRETTY." Yeah forget it. Just don't stand next to a gorgeous teen girl … just don't.
I admit to being a slow learner about some things, but one thing I NEVER miss is an opportunity.
So now, when I go to the DMV, phone store, radio shack or ANYWHERE that there are male employees; I make her come with me and strut her stuff. I even tell her that her shirt is NOT too low-cut when I want something … it is really funny. I can be standing right next to her telling her exactly what to say to Fred behind the counter … (to get what I want) and he doesn't even know I am there … (invisible is ok in these cases). HA HA Fred, jokes on you and your whole gender NOW … you just gave me $500 of free services and you don't even realize it … hee hee hee!
Yeah I pimp her out when it suits me … SOOOoooooaaa?? Crap, I gave birth to her (that was NOT pretty) and raised her … she owes me …