Watch It

Oh dear it might rain ... so ... every news cast has all of Southern California on "STORM WATCH." Seriously, when it even thinks about drizzling we all go on "STORM WATCH." Really, what the hell are we watching??? The RAIN? Why?

And please don't drive in the rain here if you can't deal. Oh man, it is a nightmare ... freeways here are tricky even on our 363 dry days ... my tips: avoid anywhere there might be a curve in the road or merging traffic -- somehow this is way too confusing. And for God's sake avoid spots where they have those huge lighted traffic signs that tell you the drive times ... HOLY CRAP, people here read slow and TRAFFIC stops.

Not only do they have to read the sign, but they have to calculate their arrival times. Then when they realize they have just stopped, creating another delay; if you look closely, you can actually see drivers re-calculate to allow for the new delay ... I am surprised heads don't explode.

But back to weather. About 10 or so years ago, Channel 7 was buying a cool new machine that was going to revolutionize the weather forecasting for Los Angeles (this is too funny). We heard about it for many months. Then they get the "Doppler 2000" ... huh? Doppler as in what they listened to my babies heartbeat with in utero??? They even advertised that it was going to cost "the station" a gazillion dollars -- cost my butt -- it just means more fricken commercials.

Then they got it ...

The Doppler 2000 ... wait for it ... get ready ... tells what the weather is doing outside "right now." Swear to God, I am NOT kidding. Really??? JUST GO THE FLIP OUTSIDE AND SEE WHAT THE WEATHER IS DOING ... RIGHT NOW!!! Better yet, give me the gazillion dollars and I'll stand outside and tell you what the weather is doing right now.

And they talk about the weather like it is a little kid that is about to do naughty things. It's CALIFORNIA people, the weather is the MOST predictable thing here. We have no weather!!!

Whoa wait, I'm not complaining about the weather, it's why I still live here, but really it's not worth "WATCHING" ... is it?