I am not sure what the heck (WTF) is going on, but my eyes keep tearing or maybe sweating (everything else on me sweats these days ARG!). Ok I know its not sweat but everything and I mean EVERYTHING is making me - at least weep - if not all out bawl.
Those that know me know that I am a pretty big cry baby. Hallmark commercials... you know the type. But not only am I crying when watching Undercover Boss but lately its out of control. Like a new girl in my kickboxing class had a hard time following the moves, it made me TEARY!! And the kicker, (like that's not enough, oh and a pun) I don't know why. Was I sad for her? Was I mad cause she made me miss a beat or two? I honestly don't know. A friend at work was telling me about her daughters bladder infection...cry cry cry. AND don't even ask me about the woman on the plane who just said her goodbyes to her mother. (Should not have even said that!!)
This morning while making Adorable's lunch (NOT a word! I will address this later!), the brown bag made me cry. It took me a second but then I got it. Will this be the last package of brown bags I buy? I have adjusted to only making one lunch but NO lunches? I am crying now.
It's as if I can see time flying away. Just flying!
Is it worse because of some unmentionable physical changes happening to me? Is it just the stage in my life? Is it that the children that have been my life for so long are leaving me? Is it a combo? Just trying to think about these questions is too much.
I can't just keep crying my way through the days. I can't really negotiate a real estate deal while weeping. Adorable can't have his mom shedding tears at every drop off (NOT one syllable!) And the hub, well never mind!
So last night we had Chinese food and I was hoping my fortune cookie would offer me some insight. I carefully (and psychically) selected my cookie. I opened it and the fortune I pulled out was really thick. I thought this is a sign, I have never had multiple fortunes form one cookie. There were FIVE fortunes. THANK God the answer was on the way!!
They all had the same fortune:
"Struggle (yep Struggle) as hard as you can for whatever you believe in." With stupid smiley faces.
What do I believe in anyway?